THREE

First official photo 

Three years ago today, September 10th, 2009, at 1:27am, my life changed in an amazing way with your arrival. As your mom, I am supposed to be teaching you things, like right from wrong, or how to behave, or how to do puzzles, or kick a soccer ball.

But it is you who has taught me so much in your three years.

The first time Mommy got to hold you

You have shown me how to love unconditionally.

You have shown me how to find (and lose, and find again) balance in my life.

You make me want to fight for things in life instead of taking the easy way out and giving up.

You have me carefully contemplating decisions that ultimately will be in your best interests, as hard as those decisions might be when the time comes to make them, instead of just reacting out of anger, frustration, or even elation.

You have taught me that "everything will be okay," just by how you say those words when you cup my cheeks with your hands when I am sad or upset.

Your personality and laugh have shown me that one little person can make a difference.

You have taught me that some days I need more patience and understanding, with you, with others, and with the journey we are on.

You amaze me each and every day with how smart you are, how funny you are, how sweet you are. You have a thirst for excitement, activity, and being able to run and play for hours.

You are such a boy, loving your cars, trucks, trains, building and knocking things down, climbing the walls (literally) at my office and jumping on and off couches. But you apparently got that sensitivity chip from me  because you are such an empathetic little boy who knows when someone needs a hug or is hurting...you want to help people feel better, and when I ask you what you want to do when you grow up, your answer always is, "I want to help people." Pretty broad area to cover, but I have no doubt you will be helping people no matter what you end up growing up to do. Just make sure you don't forget to take care of YOU along the way, because you can't help others if you can't help yourself first.

I love putting you to bed every night, and watching you go off to sleep. I will check on you several times before I go to bed. I love how you rub Orange Guy's hands or ears to soothe yourself to sleep. I love how you know when we are done with reading three books and you roll over to close your eyes. I silently giggle when you occasionally ask for "one more book" which I will usually honor your request for because I tell myself that it's because you love the soothing sound of my voice...when really it's probably that you are not that tired and need to be lulled a little while longer.

I love your reaction when I pick you up at school. You are genuinely excited to see me and can't wait to go home, yet are often having so much fun it's difficult to get you out the door. That tells me you are living in the moment, and enjoying it. I am really trying to do this more myself, watching you do this, rather than worry about things that have not happened, may not happen, or have already happened and I am dwelling on. I know I can learn a lot from you in this area.

I love how you talk to and treat Tuxedo and Tails...or "Dedo" and "Papa Tails" as you now call them...you came up with your own nicknames for them.

Thank you for choosing me to be your mommy. I hope you are learning something from me...because I feel like its you who is teaching me. I feel so blessed you came into my life when you did, and that one day you will be able to tell me I did an okay job...well, if you know me, I want to be more than okay in the job I do. But for now I am just going to enjoy our journey together more and more each day. It is amazing to see where you and I were three years ago, as I tried to figure out how to nurse you, burp you, change diapers, and get you to stop crying! While  I am still trying to get you to eat better, you can handle the burping, and potty stuff pretty much on your own...as for the crying thing, it's still just as heartbreaking to hear and sometimes figure out. Now you can at least tell me why, and I hope you will always trust me to help make you feel better.

The last photo taken of you before you turned THREE!

I love you to the moon and back, to Jupiter and back, to Bayonne and back, and anywhere else you can think of!

Love, Mommy (or Fi-Fi, your funny nickname for me!)