Mom's Update - FINALLY!

I started this post last Friday and got interrupted, so please bear with me...and pretend i posted some of it last week! Thomas turned one week old yesterday (9/17). I actually was up and awake at 1:27am, which was the time he arrived on 9/10, as I had just finished feeding him. I can't believe it has already been a week, and what a whirlwind it has been. I know I am known for having diarrhea fingers, so this might be a long update, as it's been so long, and so many people want to know how things went. John did a great job with the Daddy perspective, don't you think?

Wednesday (9/9) I was having some occasional cramping throughout the afternoon, and assumed they were Braxton Hicks contractions. Called the doc and they felt similarly, but for me to call should something change. I timed things but they were all over the place, nothing regular at all. We had pizza around 7:30, and then around 7:45 I started having the contractions again, and at what seemed like much closer intervals. Timing them they were more regular, about 5-7 minutes apart. I tried to go to bed but was very uncomfortable and when I got up to go to the bathroom realized something was definitely happening - this was not just uncomfortable. Dr. Passes called us back within 2 minutes of our call to the answering service around 10pm, and by 10:15 we were on our way to the hospital, arriving at 10:45. I was on the phone with my mom the entire time, and she kept me calm and time the contractions, which now were about 3-4 minutes apart. Not unbearable, but definitely made me realize that this "high tolerance for pain" that I often brag about does not apply to labor. I am humbled!

John did go through 2 red lights (safely) and we also went the wrong route to the hospital that we had planned, but it all worked out b/c it was late and there was no traffic. He was a bit nervous, I have to tell you, and as he said, did not have his bag packed for the hospital. Before I tried to go to bed that night, I actually pulled out my bag and put it by the door and even put my toiletries in their bag for an easy grab if something were to happen that night...so I think I knew whether or not I wanted to admit it or not.

At the hospital, the first nurse was very nice and tells me to breathe a certain way through the contractions...which I do. Then another nurse takes over, and we were not fans of hers at first as John mentioned, though once they decided to admit me and that we were delivering that night, she changed her tune and was very nice to us. Weird. She sort of questioned the fact that we did not take childbirth classes (I almost was sorry too, but she did not have to be so condescending!), and told me I was breathing incorrectly as that was if I was going to push. Um, your fellow NURSE told me to do that, but I was not in the mood to throw someone under the bus! Actually, that's the only reason I wish we'd taken a class, since we ended up doing the c-section. The attending doctor examined me and told us the baby was still transverse - actually said the head was on the left and the butt on the right, which I commented was interesting since he had been opposite the day before. So he checked me again and found out that I was correct and it was still the same. They consulted with Dr. Passes, who they then told me was on his way in to do the c-section, and we should expect to be in the OR around 1am.

Dr. Passes was great when he arrived, did another ultrasound and said that the baby had worked his way into a more unusual position in that his feet were now up towards my chest, rather than down by my groin as he'd been the day before, which made getting him out a bit more challenging. He indicated he might have to do a T-cut on my abdomen, which he hoped to avoid, but I said whatever was best to get the baby out, go ahead.

The OR was FREEZING; john had to wait until they gave me the epidural and prepped me; I moved a bit at first on the epidural and they then distracted me by asking me all these questions about my name, why I was there, etc., and it went fine. I was numb in no time. Dr. Passes was joking that he saw my husband going down the hall in the other direction and did he know we were doing this NOW? Apparently he was looking for a beverage, as he told you in his post last week. And he did make it in to the OR in plenty of time.

I felt no pain, just a lot of pressure and pulling, as if they had trouble getting Thomas John out. I realize they have to move a lot of things out of the way to get him out though, but was not thinking that at the time. John did not want to look over the curtain or let go of my hand when they told him to stand up to take a picture as the baby was about to come out, and finally I let go of his hand and was crying (seriously, are you surprised???) and telling him to take the picture! He did snap 2 over the curtain, pretty good for him not looking. I was so emotional, as I expected to be, and was overjoyed to hear TJ crying...I just knew he was okay, though I don't remember asking anyone if he was! John went with the baby to get him checked out and they brought him back in for me to see, though I don't remember it that much quite honestly. I feel like it took forever for me to stop crying! John came in with him and said, "i think he looks like a Thomas." When you can't see through tears very well, you agree...and we are very happy with the name we have chosen, Thomas John Beurskens. Thomas was the one name we both agreed upon and it's unique and doesn't "belong" to anyone in either of our families that we are aware of. And John is for his Daddy.

It took a while for them to put me back together, and then we were in recovery for a while. They would not let me sleep; kept asking me questions and what not. I think that is normal b/c they want you to come out of the anasthesia. Finally got wheeled up to our room around 4:30am where they clean me up a little more and get me settled in bed. The nurse came in around 6 to check me out again and said they would probably bring the baby in around 7am or so. he was still under the lights as they had to warm his body up. Well, at 6:30, someone brought him to us, and gave me a quick lesson on breastfeeding, and we were off!

The whole first day is a blur, as there was adrenaline pumping throughout my body but I was SOOOO tired too. My parents (Grandma and Pop-Pop) arrived around noon to visit and meet their newest grandson, and then my friend Denise right after them. My sister Karyn, her husband Dave, and my niece Alexis came that evening for a visit. We ended up staying in the hospital until Sunday since I had the c-section, and many people told me to take advantage of the extra time and help from the nurses, so I did. Dr. Passes said I could go home on Saturday night, and sort of encouraged me to do that, since hospitals have so much 'stuff' floating around them and he did not want me or the baby to get sick. But we stayed until Sunday. They brought Thomas in every 2-3 hours at night to be fed, which was hysterical b/c I was so out of it and have no idea how I got the little guy to latch on in my haze. And it was nice to be able to ring the buzzer to have the nurses come back to take him back to the nursery at night. During the day, he was in the room with me most of the time though.

Our trip home was uneventful, though of course Mommy cried for baby's first car ride! We sort of did not know what to do with ourselves at home. Tux and Tails greeted us, but really could give 2 hoots about their new little brother. We locked them out of the bedroom the first 2 nights, but now we keep the door open, as we've found that they really are not that interested in him and we don't want to create a hostile environment or relationship. And other than maybe going within a foot of the bouncy seat when TJ is in there, they are not paying much attention to the little guy. they know there is a new sheriff in town since he's keeping Mommy busy and she doesn't have time to cuddle with either cat, but they are doing pretty well and adjusting. When Tommy cries, they both sort of get out of the area if they are in the area. Tails has taken to the rocking chair we put in the living room though...quite the character.

My mom stayed with us all last week, our first week home, and my sister came down that first day we were home along with Alexis. My friend Denise also came over a few times. It has definitely been an adjustment. Nursing is not easy, specifically getting the little man to latch on. We've had some better luck this week though, and John has been a big part of that, watching the "latch on" video they sent us home from the hospital with by himself a few times and then making me watch it. our routine is that John gets up to change the diaper and then i get up a few minutes later to feed TJ. John took a few days off this week since I was feeling a bit unsure of myself.

We took Tommy (I know I keep going back and forth with his name - which is our plan, as we want to see what he "grows" into as far as a name) to the pediatrician last Friday for a weight check, and he was up to 5 lbs., 11 oz. he was 6 lbs., .5 oz at birth, and was 5 lbs., 5 oz. when we left the hospital. The rest of his umbilical cord came off last Thursday too. We go back to the doctor tomorrow for his 2 week appointment, which will be the true test to see if he is getting enough food from Mommy, as the doctor's scale and the one at the hospital could be different and not show us true weight gain. I did try the pump out this week as well, and John got to give TJ a bottle yesterday as he was really fussy at one of his afternoon feedings and we were desperate. it was only 1 oz., and he finished it in less than 2 minutes! Then I fed him myself without a problem since he was somewhat satisfied.

Emotionally, I have broken down in tears for no reason many times, which I expected since I am an oversensitive individual who I like to say never has control of my emotions. But I cry at happy things too, or because I just can't believe how much I love this little boy, and that he is really our little baby! the first few days were very difficult because I was so tired, but I am getting more sleep now and that has definitely helped. TJ has been a very good sleeper, especially at night. I don't want to say much more than that for fear of jinxing a good thing!

Physically, I am healing well. The scar is minimal and seems to be healing well; I go back to the doctor on Monday, 9/28. I have some pain on my right side occasionally, but usually on days when I realize I may have overdone it between picking up around the house, bending to pick up the cats' dishes, or even taking a walk around the block with the baby. I have a band that they gave me at the hospital to wear which seems to help too. I am also surprised at the amount of weight I have lost already. Dr. Passes had indicated that I will probably lose 20 lbs. the first 2 weeks, and I am pretty sure that's true. The first few days home i still looked pregnant, while now, I think it's more like a pooch, though slightly bigger than what I had before I was pregnant. I am still wearing maternity clothes b/c they are more comfy and loose and I'm just hanging around the house.

We gave TJ his first bath on Monday night when my sister and niece were here. Poor thing cried of course...and guess what...so did his Mommy! I can't even watch the video that John made of the entire bath! I know it's normal - for baby and mommy to be like that though!

We also watched "The Happiest Baby on the Block" yesterday. John ordered it on the recommendation of someone at work, and we found we were already using some of the techniques to soothe TJ. Listening to some of the parents on the video, we realize right now how blessed and lucky we are to have such a good baby when it comes to soothing and sleeping. I hope it stays that way! My Aunt Mary Joyce and cousins MaryBeth, Kathy and Patrice came to visit today and brought lunch as well as some meals for us. It was reassuring to sit with them and ask questions and tell them how things were going b/c the books make you crazy (between my aunt and those 3 cousins they've got 19 kids, so I am sure they've seen it all!) - like what if he doesn't get 8-12 feeding in a 24-hour period??? The little man is pooping and peeing as he should be so he is obviuosly getting enough. They along with my mom, sister, and friends have reassured me that every baby is different and TJ is doing just fine. Thank you Findlay girls for a great visit and for the delicious food!

We can't thank our family and friends enough for all of their love and support throughout these past 9 months, and hope that we will be good parents for our little boy. Thank you Mom for being here when I needed you last week. Thank you Karyn and Denise for your help, moral support and nursing advice and for answering what I think are stupid questions but you told me were not! We are looking forward to visits in October from Grandma and Grandpa Beurskens and Aunt Maria all the way from Illinois, as well as my Aunt Denise from Arizona. We know they are just as anxious to meet Tommy and shower him with love!

Special thanks and love to John for being with me throughout the all-day sickness, mood swings, exhaustion, anxiety, and the early labor and then the c-section and of course these first few weeks at home. While it certainly wasn't all smooth sailing, and I can be quite the emotional basket case sometimes, I know I am very fortunate to have you as my biggest cheerleader, best swaddler and partner to raise our little boy, Thomas John.